Money Matters

Like I said in my last post, God is really taking me on a journey. He's been convicting my heart and changing my thought process on things that I've not even thought about.....EVER!

Lately, He's been speaking to me about money. Yep, that crazy little green stuff that seems to make the world go round but people never seem to have enough of.

M-O-N-E-Y.

A few days ago, I asked my husband to go over our budget with me. Mostly because we are celebrating our 10 yr anniversary at the end of the year and I want to be able to pay cash for our trip. I wanted a game plan. I need to know what we have to do to save "x" amount of dollars by December.

As we looked at the numbers on our budget..what comes in, what should be going out I was startled by a huge deficit!!  There in the column marked "savings" was a surprisingly large number.
I quickly said..."whoa, wait a minute..we save that much every month??" My husbands response was, "no, IF we stayed on budget we would save that much every month, but we don't usually do that".

WAIT a MINUTE..hold the phone!!!! "How are we spending that much extra money a month?? What are we spending it on?" I asked.  He just kinda shrugged and shook his head!

God immediately pricked my heart in a huge way!!!  Basically after paying our basic bills and paying for groceries, setting aside some money for eating out, and doing fun activities we SHOULD have enough left over to put several hundred dollars in savings each month.  The fact that we have not been doing that is a huge red flag to me. We can't even recall what that extra money is being spent on.

Most likely it's being spent on, more eating out, stopping to get sodas, new things we see and want, something for the kids, using our credit card mindlessly and having to pay it off at the end of the month.

BUT certainly nothing substantial or meaningful in any way...because neither one of us can even pin point what it's being spent on.

Friends, I want my money to matter more than this.

IF we are so blessed to have all our basic needs met and are able to budget in eating out, allowances for my husband and myself AND have some fun money...then there is no reason at all why we should be spending the rest except for the fact that we are mindlessly indulging ourselves in desires and wants that we clearly don't need OR have made one bit of difference in our lives.

Here's the deal, we don't live extravagant lives. Just about everything I buy is on sale, I use coupons, I do DIY projects to save money. Literally half of my closet is from Goodwill..NO LIE!
We don't take our kids to expensive outings often AT ALL. I shop at Once Upon a Child for their clothes.

I literally am NOT a "shop or spend-a-holic"

If I want to redecorate..I first think of how to repurpose, repaint and reuse what we already have before buying anything new. So I am literally blown away at how we go through money the way we do.
I've boiled it down to two things.

Carelessness and Greed. Ouch. I don't typically consider myself careless or greedy. But after mulling it over in my brain til it's basically mush I can come up with no other conclusions.

We are careless with our excess, and we are greedy in thinking that if we have excess it should obviously be spent on US!! (there's that "we deserve" american entitlement issue again)

Who says that because we have extra money that it should be spent on us. Does God not use His children to bless others?? Who says that we should even be budgeting in "eating out" and "fun money" as if luxuries are the most important things in life.  What if instead of delegating what's left over to people in need..we turned it around..and supported the needy FIRST, and then used our left over for a few indulgent luxuries?? How different the American church would look.

I think of all the things we could be doing to bless others, to show Gods love with our excess.
We could buy groceries for a family for a MONTH with our extra.
We could buy someone a car..(a used one mind you, but still with 4 wheels and an engine)
We could pay someones rent
We could fund a family in Ethiopia for a whole year so they could have food and education.
We could build a church in Africa!!!

But instead, it gets spent on another pair of shoes for my daughter who already has ten pairs. Or on another scarf for me, when I have two drawers full.
It gets spent on another run to get carry out, when we JUST ate out yesterday.
It goes to buy new curtains just because I've had the other ones for a few years and am tired of them.
More, useless, meaningless junk that doesn't enrich our lives one tiny bit. In actuality it just causes us to want more useless, meaningless junk.

I mean, seriously....I WANT MY MONEY TO MATTER more than this.

So, we've decided to cut WAY back. I have a set allowance every month that is just for me. I can go to lunch, I can buy a new shirt...whatever. My goal and promise to myself is to stick to my allowance. If it doesn't fit into my budget. I don't get. NO MORE EXCESS.

I have a closet full of stuff. My goal is to wear EVERYTHING..(everything that fits anyways). I'm going to put together outfits from what I already have. I'm going to be thankful with my home. I may want new accessories for my book shelves..but there is a child in India who could use that $30 a whole lot more than my book shelves could.

I want God to open my eyes to the nonsense. I love my kids and I love buying things for them. BUT the reality is they have more than they need. They have so much in fact..that they don't really even enjoy what they have because the amount of stuff is so overwhelming. And, because they are so used to getting stuff the thrill is just "getting" it..not actually playing with it, and I'm not ok with that.
So, unless it's a birthday or Christmas. No more TOYS, no more clothes, no more NOTHING!

The fact that my whole family could literally have beds and dressers of our own in our bedroom alone, is a shocking realization to the amount of excess! When I really allow God to do surgery on my greed and my heart I start to walk around my home in AWE of the blessings I've been given.

I'm not living on the street..or in a dump. I'm not hungry, I'm not cold. I have clothes..and stylish ones at that. My kids have luxuries and toys. WHO THE HECK DO WE THINK WE ARE, to maintain an attitude of constantly needing more!

That new shirt wont bring meaning to my life. The bigger tv wont fulfill my inner most longings. Going on an extravagant vacation wont fill any emptiness within me.  A new couch wont bring me meaningful relationships.

I want my money to matter.
I'm giving God room to use the finances He's giving me to bless others. My tithe, is not enough. I will live on less, so I'm able to bless.

I will sacrifice the boots on sale at marshals and the 20th cute dress or hair bow for my daughter so that someone else might know that Jesus is using people to bless them.

I want my money to MATTER. I will live with less, so it will!