TRUST, FEAR and MOVING...

The cat is out of the bag, it's official, no turning back now. We announced on Sunday to our church family that our season of ministry there has ended and that after much prayer and fasting God is calling us to move to Missouri. 

This will be the third MAJOR move we've made to a different state in our short 10 years of marriage. Each move has been a step of faith and a decision to follow Gods voice of direction for our lives. Each opportunity has come with challenges and blessings and has been filled with learning experiences and wonderful friends. Each move has been a chance for God to show up and show off with how he choose to bless us. 

I remember when God first told us to leave the first place we were in Kansas, after the decision was made to be obedient and we finally went to bed, I lay in bed and cried and cried. I was excited and hopeful for the future, but my heart ached to leave. My heart mourned all that I felt like I was "losing". It was really hard.

You would think after three moves, three opportunities to say "yes" to God, and after Him providing three different times in wonderfully different ways, that it would somehow be easier. 

But it's not.

This decision to leave, has in some ways been just as hard as the first time we said, yes.

Different circumstances, different people, same excitement and SAME HEARTACHE of saying goodbye, and most of all same wondering how God will come through.

I know that my trust in God is deeper and stronger now than it was then. My love for God has certainly grown and I honestly can say that I COMPLETELY TRUST HIM with my life, my hearts longings and my family. 

But I'm human, and I not only have to fight the tendencies in my personality that question, but I have a very real enemy (satan) who would love nothing more than to make each experience a miserable one. His desire to keep us from saying yes to God and walking into what God has for us is REAL and it's BIG. He goes to war to persuade us against it..but thankfully GOD goes to war too...and all I have to do is focus on Him and stay in His presence and His Word and tuck myself up in the shelter of His wings during the battle.

If you know me well, you know I'm a planner. 

I'm a planner, who likes routine and is not a huge fan of change.

I'm a planner who likes routine and is not a huge fan of change, and I like to know what's going to happen and WHEN. 

So these situations go against the very fiber of my being.

I am NOT naturally adventurous.

I'm NOT naturally trusting and eager to change up my world.

I'm just not.

I think because we've done this before people get the impression that we LIKE it, and that it's EASY, or that we've somehow reached a level of spirituality that we just "transcend" from situation to situation. 

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but it's not and I'm not. 

This is how it usually goes....

We seek God, We hear from God, We make a decision, and the battle begins... 

The battle of what if's..

The battle of how's..

The battle of, "oh crap we just quit a job that is very good to us financially"....

The battle of pain and doubt and LOTS OF CRYING.. ha

The battle is real my friends...it's real.

Matthew 6:20, 25-33 says

"Store your treasures in heaven where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal, wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

v25, That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life- whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns. For your heavenly father feeds them. and aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing, look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wild flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

Why why worry about these things, saying.What will we eat? what will we drink? what will we wear? These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly father already knows all your needs. Seek the kingdom of GOD above all else and live righteously and he will give you everything you need."

This scripture has been my life line during these times when I start to feel fearful about what we are giving up to follow God.  It's ok to be smart, it's ok to plan, it's ok to make money..but it's ALSO ok to take a huge step outside of all of that to say yes to God without having ANY details.

There is something so special that happens between you and God when you can put your entire life into his hands and say, I don't see the big picture yet, but I trust YOU. 

Even in the midst of fear, doubt and unknowing there is an amazing peace that comes over you.

I just want to encourage you friends. If you feel like God is asking you to make a big step of faith. DO IT! Even if you don't know how it will work. Even if it looks like it certainly WONT work. If it's God...just take that step and say yes.

Will everything work out exactly how you WANT it to? Probably not. Will it always feel like a shimmering dream come true.?? UM...no. ha

But when you walk in Gods plan for your life, whether that be with PLENTY or with LITTLE, you are in the very best place you could be.

You don't have to fear giving God your dreams and your desires. He is a loving Father and He won't let your life come crashing to the floor.

But here's the thing..even He does....You can trust that there is purpose for it in your life, and just like Joseph, he is using those circumstances to mold you and shape you for the greatness he has in store.

Don't fear Gods plan. Tuck yourself up under the shadow of His wing, and enjoy the ride. :-)

XOXO

Dayna

Dead and Fruitless

As I was walking to the mail box today I noticed this...

Beautiful isn't it?? Ok, it's not really beautiful, but I feel like God gave me something beautiful as I looked at it.

First let me explain what this is. It's a picture of these flowers that bloom out by this ugly green box in our front yard. These flowers grow big and tall and at the end of summer leave a big stick looking thing to just ...well...die there. So all winter, these brown, tall, stick looking dead things just hang out in my yard.

We had an uncannily warm day on Monday and my husband went out and pulled up all the ugly, dead stick things to clean up the yard for Spring.

Today is Wednesday and as I was walking to the mail box I noticed that there is already green shoots of new life springing up. My thought was wow, that was quick, and I felt the Lord say, "See how quickly new life springs up when you remove what is dead and fruitless."

WOW...hello GOD! nice to talk to you today!!! I love it when God just drops an amazing God thought and perfect illustration into my heart, it just makes me happy.

Anyways. I got to thinking about that thought. "Look how quickly new life springs up when you remove what is dead and fruitless"!!!

I can think of so many people, myself included who spend SO-MUCH-TIME holding on to dead and fruitless things in their lives. Maybe that dead fruitless thing was once beautiful in your life, much like my flowers were last year. Maybe that thing has NEVER been fruitful and we've just wanted it to be fruitful, whew..I've been there.

We hold on, hoping, wishing, praying, working, trying, and waiting and waiting and waiting for something to bear fruit, to produce beauty or life into our lives. Often times we can't bare the thought of losing this thing. The empty hole that removing it will leave will be too painful. How will I fill that void? What if nothing ever grows back in that place? What if, what if, wait, wait, wish.

Sometimes, I think God is in heaven saying, "Why is it so hard for them to remove this thing? It's not giving life, it's not producing joy, it actually CAUSING pain. Don't they know I have something else that will be much better?"

Is it that we just don't fully trust that God has something better? Do we honestly believe in our hearts that it's safer to cling to this dead thing than to entrust the hole removing it will leave to our Father?

I don't know about you, but I want to be a person who is willing to slough off the old, dead, unfruitful things in my life to allow room for Jesus to fill those holes and produce new life.

The pain of letting that dead thing go is nothing in comparison to the joy of having life-giving things in your life.

Here's the thing though, I think sometimes we want to see the new thing, before we are comfortable sloughing off the old. It's sort of like saying, God when you show me that there WILL IN FACT BE new life, THEN I will let go of this dead thing, cause at least this dead thing is filling this hole for the time being. I'd rather it be filled with SOMETHING, even if it's dead.

But where is the faith in that? Where is the trust that God does have something that He is just waiting to fill that void with.

But just like those flowers, it's really tough for the new flowers to bloom until we've cleared out what was old.

It's hard ya'll, I'm not for a second trying to say that the "Clearing out" process is easy. It's not. There will be some pain, there will be some emptiness, If you're like me, there will probably be tears.(ha)

But just as Jeremiah 29:11 says, God has plans for YOU and ME, and His plans are always GOOD!! They are always for our benefit. You don't have to fear the things that God has in store for you.

I want to challenge you to reflect on any areas of your life that are dead and fruitless in your life? Is it an attitude or hobby that is not producing life? Is it a relationship that is taking advantage of you? Is it an addiction? Is it a job? Is it a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it a dream you've had for your life that may not have been a GodDream and needs to be let go so that new GodDreams can come in? I don't know what it might be in your life. But I pray that you are brave enough to identify the areas that need to be uprooted so that GOD can plant new life for you.

When you are faced with the fear that the emptiness will be more than you can bare.
Just remember..

"Look how quickly new life springs up, when you remove what is dead and fruitless"

Be brave, my dear friends...God's plans are always good and full of LIFE!

xoxo

Dayna

DISCLAIMER- I am not referring to marriage relationships. If you are in a dead and fruitless marriage than you need to get counsel and help to rebuild and revive the marriage you have!!! God will breathe new life into your dry marriage if the right steps are taken to allow Him to do so. His desire is that the covenant relationship you have with your spouse would last a lifetime. :-)

I lost my voice

Wow, it's been a LONG, LONG time since I've blogged. I could blame it on a million different things, having a baby, being busy, being a mom, wife, friend, daughter...any of the above. But the hard truth is this.....I LOST MY VOICE.

I did.

I lost it. I got to a point where I just felt dry, felt like I had nothing to say, felt like no one wanted or needed to listen. And maybe that's true, maybe no one needs to listen or wants to listen.
But for me, I have to write.
I love it, I love being open and vulnerable. I love stringing together words and thoughts that express my heart. For me, writing is therapy. A place to banter, a place to jump on my soap box, a place to share, express, and hopefully encourage, inspire or provoke some sort of thought or action from you the reader...my trusty two followers. (thanks mom and barb) ha

There was a point where I was all over the place, do I blog about life? weight loss? DIY? fashion? God? All of those things are a part of me, a part of my story. The truth is, I have a million and a half thoughts on any of those topics swirling around just about 24/7. I felt like I needed a niche. That in order to be a successful "blogger" I needed to appeal to the masses. I needed to share about something that people cared about that they needed. And in the midst of all those possibilities I seriously lost my voice, trying to focus on any one part of who I am just left me feeling blah, and I mean like, roll out of bed, no shower or bra all day type of blah. Like, spray me with fabreeze type of blah.
I just felt lost and unimportant and like I had NOTHING TO SAY. (which is funny, cause anyone who knows me, knows I have LOTS to say, about just about anything..ha I'm working on reeling that in a bit)


So, Here ya go. After at least a year of no voice. I have something to say.

I am ME. I'm quirky and opinionated and fun loving and weird. I like ice cream with my french fries and I used to bite my toenails ( I know gross). I love Jesus with all my heart and rely on Him daily to be a decent wife or mom or friend. I am passionate about the Word of God and the spiritual growth of the body of Christ. I LOVE to worship and be in the beautiful presence of the Holy Spirit and I LOVE LOVE LOVE helping lead people into that presence too. I love encouraging women, I love dancing, acting, singing, ZUMBA(ha). I craft and scrapbook and repurpose furniture.  I love exercise and healthy eating and I love donuts.

I'm a hot mess of contradictions and am absolutely far from perfect, but one thing is certain, I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. If it's one word, or one song, one blog post, or one gigantic step of faith, I want someone to be inspired.

But here's the thing, even if no one is. I'm ok being me and celebrating who I am and not apologizing for it.  I don't care if I don't have a "niche", I don't care if I don't appeal to the masses, I don't care if I only have two followers forever, (hi mom and barb...again..haha)
I have to write, I have to sing, I have to share, I have to dance, I'll probably annoy, and maybe offend(not intentionally of course).

But I HAVE TO BE ME!!!

It's only in knowing who I am, that I can truly find my voice!! :-)

So, here's to many more blogs of me, being me.

TADA!!!!!!! AAAANNNNNDDDDD, CURTSY


XOXO-

Dayna