I'm a member of my local Mops group and let me just say, if you are a mommy of young children who are not yet in school, MOPS is an AWESOME resource for you. It provides a place to get out of the house and connect with other mamma's while learning valuable biblically based lessons that help you with all sorts of areas of life. I truly love my MOPS group. So if you're in need of some adult interaction than I strongly suggest finding a local MOPS group to join. ;)
MOPS infomercial is now done...jk. I just love MOPS!
ANYWHOO-
While at MOPS this morning I was reminded of a great lesson that I wanted to share with you all because it really struck a chord with me and I think it might with you as well.
In our lives as moms we try to create a safe and happy environment for our children to grow and thrive. We spend energy and worry on protecting our children from harm, from hurt, from anything ugly or wrong with the world. We know how hurtful the world can be and we NEVER want to sit back and watch our kids go through the pain that life sometimes brings.
However, this is what was said today...
"Safe and Happy environments are all nice and good, but they aren't overly realistic. It's not wise to remove the consequences of life from our kids. We need to teach our kids that life is not perfect. It's often messy. Teach them to deal with the struggles and difficulties that it will inevitably bring."
Much more was said, that I couldn't write fast enough to take notes for..but the other thing that stuck out so strongly was this statement.
"You don't become a good sailor by only sailing on smooth waters. If we want our kids to be strong and brave we can't protect them from the rough water realities of the world."
That is SOOOO good. I have been chewing on that ALL day.
We see so many many kids become entitled and spoiled. Relying on their parents for EVERYTHING. Unable to resolve their own conflicts, unable to understand their emotions and failures, always coddled and rewarded just to avoid the bitter sting of disappointment.
This generation has been coined the "Helicopter Parent" Era due to the amount of parents constantly bailing their kids out of the consequences that are true to life. Wanting to always make sure that things are fair and fun for our kids. When the reality is that life is NOT always fair..it's SELDOM fair in fact. Life is disappointing. Life is not always fun, we are NOT always rewarded for things that are expected of us.
We don't realize the negative attitudes we are unknowingly instilling in our kids by some of these practices.
It's ok for your kids to get looked over sometimes, as hard as that is to watch as a parent.
It's ok for our kids to have to work out their own conflicts, or be responsible for consequences of their actions.
It's ok for our kids to NOT be rewarded for tasks that are just their duty to carry out.
It's ok. It's hard. But it's ok.
Our job as a parent is not really about making sure our kids have a fantastic childhood. It's more about teaching them how to function well in the world. In the REAL world, where things will hurt them, where they will be responsible for their actions, where there will be expectations and disappointment.
Doesn't mean life can't be fun. But ensuring our kids are always safe, protected and sheltered from everything that brings emotional or physical discomfort isn't doing them any favors.
"Our children will not learn to be good sailors in life, if they only sail on smooth waters."
Walking with them through the treacherous turbulence of life is how we train them to survive on their own.
This reminder was such a gut check for me.
I hope it speaks to you as well!!
Parenting is a messy job! A Beautifully Messy Job!
We can do this thing, and our kids will be amazing when it's time to sail on their own!
Go get em Mamma! :)
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