So, I've been thinking. I don't want to be a "Messy Mommy" anymore. I mean, I'm certain that I will continue to be in many, many area's but in the area of my feminine sex appeal I don't want to be a messy mommy.
Oh you know what I mean, or at least I hope you do. Maybe I'm alone in this department, but I'm guessing there is a sea of messy mommies out there that have COMPLETELY forgotten what it feels like to just be a woman.
Having two kids is exhausting and a lot of work. My days pretty much look like, fixing food, cleaning up food, making messes, cleaning messes, shuttling kids around, grocery shopping, cleaning house, changing diapers, cleaning high chairs, playing barbies and coloring....ok maybe throw a work out in there some where.
I gotta say, when I look at that list none of it makes me feel especially feminine OR sexy!!!!!
What happened??? I mean, I'm young. I'm somewhat vibrant.......eh.....ok, I WANT to be somewhat vibrant. I still have energy to laugh and do exhilarating things. How did I get swallowed into the frumpy mommy hole before even turning 30????
I want to be flirty and pretty and I often look like I'm in a perpetual "walk yourself skinny" video. Yoga pants and sweats of all kinds are my favorite....and I repeat...my FAVORITE attire for day to day wear.
Literally, if you see me around town I will most likely be in my black yoga pants with a sweatshirt or my gray sweat pants with a sweatshirt. The lucky few may catch me in jeans...MAYBE, but still probably sportin a sweatshirt. I mean seriously?!?! Is this an adult woman's wardrobe?? Apparently so folks..apparently so. :)
I admit that my day to day 'look' isn't overly flattering or appealing to anyone, anywhere....I'm guessing it's especially unappealing to my husband. Who is wonderful by the way and NEVER says..."so you didn't get dressed today" after returning home from work and I'm STILL in my sweat pants. :)
He's a real keeper. He never complains, He never makes condescending statements and most of all I know he loves me anyways.
Even though my days are clearly not glamorous or warrant any real amount of primping effort and my husband is the gem that he is I'm kinda over feeling like a frumpy momma ALL. THE. TIME.
I mean, there are certainly reasons for yoga pants...like say.....YOGA!
Or cleaning my house...but I've decided that I'm going to make a conscious effort to revive my femininity. It's in there....somewhere.....buried deep. I'm determined to find it.
I keep telling myself that when my kids are grown I'll have more time to worry about me. Or I wont have a one year old drooling all over my shoulder. No joke, I have ZERO shirts that have not been drooled on. It's pretty awesome.. :/.....awesomely GROSS. But it's part of mommy life.
Or I say..when I lose more weight and get back to the size I was pre kids I'll buy some things that make me feel sexy and pretty.
Ok, let's be honest, I'm doing all I can to work on the whole "baby weight" issue that loves me so dearly BUUUUT, the pre kid waistline just may be gone forever unless I get a tummy tuck for Christmas and, I'm not holding my breath. :)
So is that it? I mean am I destined to be in the frumpy mommy zone forever?? I may still have kids at home and drool on my shoulder more times than I'd like and I may not have the jean size I'd like but I think there are some ways I can regain my femininity and sex appeal and I'm ready to try.
So here goes..
1. Exercise- oook, so there's nothing especially feminine about working out, in fact it makes you stinky and sweaty. However, working out increases endorphins which are your feel good hormone. When you feel good you just care a little bit more about everything else. Not to mention the working out will help with the "waist line" issue I mentioned above. Working out, helps your mood and your body. If you're like me, you're in your yoga pants anyways..so take a stroll around the block or do some planks while the kids play on the floor. You'll be glad you did.
2. Do your hair and makeup- I try to be good about this, but I'm not always so great. DO YOUR HAIR EVERYDAY!!! Even if "doing" your hair means pulling it up in a messy bun. Get some cute bobby pins or hair clips to glam it up just a tad. When I say "do your makeup" I don't mean you have to go prom style while you do the dishes. No, just some mascara and lip gloss can be enough to freshen up your face. Plus like I said before, when you feel good about you, your over all attitude improves.
3. Flirt with your husband- This is one of my favorite tips ladies. Think back to how fun flirting with your hubby was before he was your hubby. You would bat your eyes and smile, joke and playfully touch each other. Incorporate that back into your day. Brush your hand over your hunny's hiney as you walk by and give him a little smirk. Send him a text at work saying you're thinking of him, or you think he's cute and can't wait to kiss him. Whatever you did to flirt with him before, try to do it now even the small ways can help you regain some sexy momma territory from the munchkins that have stolen it. :)
4. Seduce Your Husband and Yourself- Ok, so I know that sounds "awkward" but I don't mean that in a weird way. When I say Seduce Yourself, I just mean get yourself ready so that you feel 'sexy'. Let's be honest when you're married with kids sometimes sex is not on the forefront of your mind, if in your mind AT ALL. I don't know about you, but when my minds not into it, I'M not overly into it and it's more like something I need to check off my list than a bonding experience to enjoy. THAT does not a sexy momma make. So, take some time and do what you need to do to feel sexy or mentally prepare yourself for the time with your hubs.
A spray of perfume
A sexy nightie
Thinking about your favorite "moments" together
lighting candles
Whatever you gotta do..do it to help yourself feel desirable and he will probably appreciate that too. Nobody wants their spouse to just go through the motions, I prefer when sex is an intimate time and I feel like a beautiful sexy woman rather than just a "means to an end"...if ya know what I mean. :) *awkward giggle*.....
MOVING ON...
5. HAVE CONFIDENCE- sometimes this one is tough when we don't feel particularly sexy or feminine. But you have wonderful things to offer. You are a beautiful woman and you don't have to look like anyone else to let your feminine sexiness shine through...ESPECIALLY to your husband. Be confident in your best features. If you have great lips...play on that! If you have great eyes, highlight them with a complementing hue.
I think with the over sexualization of our culture as Christian women we want to shy away from 'sexy'. You can be 'sexy' as a woman without being slutty. You can have sex appeal without showing everyone everything. God made the female body beautiful, he designed our feminine ways to be beautiful. The way we laugh, the way we smile, the gentleness in our caress. God designed for you to woo your spouse. You don't have to be afraid of your sex appeal because you don't look like a victoria secret model. Be confident in who God made you to be. I guarantee that your husband would rather you live your life joyfully and confidently just the way you are than have you be the picture of "perfection" trapped by insecurity.
LET YOUR CONFIDENCE SHINE!
6. Remember who's important- I remember when Tim and I were dating. I had just gotten home from a super long car trip and I was looking..well....a little rough. I have a picture somewhere to prove just how rough I looked, but I'll save you the agony. :) Shortly after returning home Tim called and said he was on his way over and couldn't wait to see me!! STOP THE PRESSES....He can NOT see me like this!! I mean I was in full blown panic mode. I immediately ran to the shower and did the fastest "get ready" routine you've seen in your life.
Why do you suppose I went through all that trouble?? Well, I wanted to impress him of course. I wanted him to remember why he missed me so much the moment he saw me. I wanted him to think, Man she's beautiful and realize that no other woman could make him happy like I could.
Now here we are a few weeks short of 9 years later and believe it or not I STILL want him to think all those things. Except, instead of giving him something beautiful to come home to, I'm usually a disheveled lump of sweats....who may or may not have showered that day. (eeck)
Now I can hear some of you saying..."well, he should love you for who you are not how you look." And I wholeheartedly agree...but even though I know he loves me for who I am. I also know he hasn't gone blind and this world offers no shortage of beautiful women for him to look at. Why can't I be lovely and presentable to him when he gets home.
Maybe I could buy some CUTE comfy pajamas instead of my warm Christmas flannels with the little Scottie dogs on them. I mean, I'm not expert on "SEXY" but I'm thinkin that's probably not it. But they're comfy so I'm not hatin. :) (comfy jammie girls UNITE) A-hem...moving on.
Or maybe I could buy some new panties with appealing colors or patterns. Maybe even with some lace instead of the faded...elastic falling out....janky undies I've had for...um...EVER!
Come on ladies..you know once you've had kids..the importance of buying yourself new bra's and panties more than once every 3 years comes WAAAY after the other essentials like, baby food, diapers, crayons.....the forth pair of sparkly flip flops for lil susie! Sheesh. It's ok to prioritize our needs and pleasing our husband before buying the latest video game for Junior. I'm just sayin. :)
So, there ya have it. Some practical tips for "BRINGING SEXY BACK" after the joy of children enter your life. It's not too late!! Regain your sexy, regain your femininity and remind your man why he's so lucky to have you. Your life doesn't have to be made up of cheerios and sensible cotton briefs..unless of course that's what floats your boat and in that case...have at it!
You can be flirty and fun with your husband. You don't have to forget how to be a woman because you are also a mom. What better way for us to teach our daughters how a classy, woman who loves her husband and herself acts and prioritizes life. And what better way to teach our sons what a woman who values herself and her man looks like.
I believe there is a beautifully feminine sexy mama inside us all.
Can we all agree to search for her..
I promise to look for the sexy woman in me and I'm determined to find her.
I just hope she's ok with wearing sweats once in a while. :)
Be Blessed. XOXO
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